Unfortunately, if you’re planning to message your nude to someone else, experts say you have to assume the worst. “You need to assume any picture you’re sending out will one day be seen by another person,” says Carly S., a pleasure expert, founder of Dildo or Dildon’t, and educator with Spectrum Boutique. “If the idea that the picture you’re taking might be seen by another person is upsetting to you, don’t send it to anyone.” If you snap a saucy pic that needs another set of eyes on it, you might just want to slide your phone to them while you’re together in person. Bonus: That allows you to see their reaction live. 

Keep the virility of nude photos in mind when you’re trying to figure out what part of your body to snap, Carly S. suggests. “Consider that unique moles, scars, tattoos and piercings can be used to identify you,” she adds. If you don’t want your body to be spotted, either angle those parts of your body out of frame, or cover them up either with make-up or in an editing app. PhotoDiva and RetouchMe are good apps for this. 

Finally, if you do plan to share your photo, make sure you get consent first. “You always need to ask before you send nudes to someone,” says Frye-Nekrasova. Yes, even if this is a person who has enjoyed your hot shots previously. “You need to make sure the timing is OK. After all, probably not the best idea to send a bunch of nudes when your partner is sitting in a meeting about a promotion.” Fair point! A simple, “Can I send you a nude right now?” works fine. But the more-elaborate, “I got a little hot and bothered thinking about you and the fun we had together and took some pics of how you make me feel, is it OK if I send them to you?” works, too. 

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