Let’s be clear: Any red flag is important to keep in mind and is worth having a conversation about. However, objective red flags are the ones that you should be the most mindful of, as these tend to be the most difficult to work through and may be indicative of a truly toxic relationship, Page notes.
Relational and personal red flags, on the other hand, may be more flexible. If you truly love someone or see a potential future with them and you’re both willing to put in the work to tend to these red flags, then it’s worth a shot.
This is not to say that some objective red flags can’t be healed or worked through as well—every person and relationship is different—but these objective red flags must be actively addressed head-on for the relationship to survive.
As trauma-informed relationship coach Julie Nguyen previously told mbg, “Toxic dynamics can be mended with conscious time, effort, and self-awareness. But both people need to be willing to change and accept responsibility to move forward.”