Do you like having sex? It’s ok to say no, but more likely than not, if you’re here, you’re a fan. Do you want to be having more sex? Us too. Now that that’s established… you don’t need an excuse to have more sex, but we’ve got one for you.
Here’s our pitch: Sex can be used as a practice.
Sex As a Practice: What?
When we think of the word practice, we usually think of doing something again and again so that we get better. While that’s sort of true, in the case of sex, let’s approach it differently.
We can equate a sexual practice to something like a meditation practice. The goal isn’t necessarily to get better, but instead to be able to use it as a means to become more grounded and to touch back in with yourself and what’s important to you.
The practice part comes in by adding a little discipline into your sex life. While discipline might not be the first word that comes to mind when you think of sex, hear us out.
Oftentimes we fall into a rut by rarely having sex, or doing the same thing over and over again, and falling into an orgasm rut – if you’re even having them.
You might think spontaneity is the spice of life, and while it’s awesome and great, it’s not always realistic when it comes to our sex lives. Between work, kids, and daily chores and errands, our sex lives often get put on the backburner.
This is why it’s important to carve out dedicated time to prioritize it. Discipline and spontaneity aren’t mutually exclusive.
Benefits of Treating Sex Like a Practice
Not that you need us to tell you, but having sex regularly certainly has its perks.
Here are some benefits to having a sex practice:
- Less stress: Intimacy, pleasure, and hormonal releases all help destress us in a busy world. Get busy so that you don’t feel as busy.
- More orgasms: Orgasms are not necessary for a fantastic sexual experience, and they are not the end goal of sex. They are, however, very nice when they do happen. When you take the time to build on your sexual practice, you’ll most likely start having more orgasms.
- Deeper connection: Sex helps you create a deeper connection, whether that’s with your partner, yourself, or both. A sex practice can help you tap into parts of yourself and your relationship that you didn’t realize were there, or that needed some extra love.
- It’s a great workout: We had to throw this one in here. The average person burns between 200-300 calories each time they have sex. Physical activity makes us feel good, so go get your sweat on.
- That glow though: We all know the elusive post-orgasm glow. That extra flush to the cheeks and sheen to the skin. Sex can make us feel and look glowy and lit up. Yum!
- Greater confidence: People who are having regular, enjoyable sex tend to have this extra swagger about them. Think about a time when you were having great sex regularly with someone you felt at ease with. I bet you were feeling yourself. That sort of confidence is magnetic, and people can tell.
How to Start a Sex Practice
Convinced yet? Starting a sex practice isn’t just a matter of having sex more often (but if that works for you, then go for it). You can start a sex practice by setting aside dedicated times where you explore intimacy with yourself and/or your partner.
Here are some tips and things to keep in mind:
- Penetration isn’t necessary: Your sex practice doesn’t have to include penetration. Some days it may just mean a hot making-out session, hand play, or even sexting. This is your practice, you make it work for you.
- Use a sex journal: Keeping a sex journal gives you space to reflect on your sexual experiences, and look back to see how they’ve changed. This is also an activity you can share with your partner.
- You decide how often: Create a sex practice that’s manageable for you and your partner. For some people that might mean three times a week, for others, it may be three times a month.
- Learn about sex: Flip through Intimina’s blog, follow sex influencers on YouTube and IG, pick up a book. Have fun learning about the sex topics that interest you.
- Keep it exciting: Part of having a disciplined yet spontaneous sex practice is doing things to keep it interesting. That may mean exploring bondage, or anal play, or even group sex!
- Communication: Keeping clear lines of communication is important for your sexual practice. What’s the point in having more sex if you’re not telling your partner what is and isn’t working for you?
- Solo sex counts: You don’t need someone else to start a sex practice. There are many benefits to masturbation.
- Meet yourself where you’re at: Life happens, and sometimes we’re just really not feeling it. Whether it’s our menstrual cycle, work stress, or we’re too full – we’re not always gonna be in the mood. If that’s the case, you can try taking that time for another form of self-care, like massaging each other’s feet or taking a bath.