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Dear Healthy Men: How are all the crazy things going on in the world\u2014the economy, gun control, the continuing pandemic, and political upheaval\u2014affecting men\u2019s mental health?<\/em><\/p>\n A:<\/strong>\u00a0A few days ago, a friend asked me, \u201cYou OK, Bro?\u201d\u2014a question that took me completely by surprise. I instinctively answered, \u201cFine\u201d\u2014doesn\u2019t everybody? Because I didn\u2019t elaborate, my friend naturally assumed that nothing in my life was terribly out of whack with societal norms. But what \u201cfine\u201d skips over are the worry I feel when I see headlines about inflation; my fear that a new COVID strain will emerge and lock us all down again while killing us and costing us our jobs; and the pit in my stomach whenever I read about the latest school shooting. Societal change is exploding with volcano-like force and so many pillars of American life are being challenged, changed, wiped away, evolved through.<\/p>\n The honest answer to my friend\u2019s question is that, no, in fact, I\u2019m not OK. Nobody is OK\u2014at least not the guys I know. Simply watching the evening news would worry Atlas himself; that globe he\u2019s eternally hoisting is now a cacophony of war, pandemic, inflation, political turmoil the likes of which men haven\u2019t seen in their lifetime, let alone all at once.<\/p>\n Routine personal challenges and threats men traditionally faced such as career, marriage, and health are compounded with very real, deeply disturbing existential threats from cascading global crises. And before the weight of the world crushes us, we need to change the national conversation about men\u2019s mental health with the urgency and accessibility of the ice bucket challenge and a slogan as simple as \u201cGot Milk?\u201d Both campaigns succeeded because of their simplicity and visibility.<\/p>\n Gender stereotypes have always held that men try to fix things, whether it\u2019s a car engine or their sister\u2019s marriage, usually with unsolicited advice. Other classic tropes tell us that men are shy when asked to discuss any feelings that would enflame\u2014or, God forbid\u2014acknowledge vulnerability. \u201cSuck it up!!\u201d isn\u2019t just shouted by a balding, pot-bellied football coach as a boy lies on the field after a hard hit. It\u2019s a malignant metaphor for how men are expected to deal with most of life\u2019s problems. We\u2019re taught as boys not to cry or be emotional, even when those emotions would be appropriate. Anger gets a pass because of its fake correlation with \u201cwarrior masculinity,\u201d and creates its own weather pattern of problems.<\/p>\n Men tend to shy away from emotional conversations because of a fear, real or perceived, that it may make them\u00a0look<\/em>\u00a0weak. In fact, many men live their entire lives in one long marathon workaround of trying not to look weak. The only problem is that even if they don\u2019t appear weak to peers, co-workers, and family, they often\u00a0feel<\/em>\u00a0weak inside. After years of suffering silently, many men eventually realize that when they feel weak, the only healthy way out is to own it and ask for help. But by then, their refusal to ask for help has often had a deleterious effect on their own actions (and health) and on everyone around them.<\/p>\n A similar internal conflict happens at work, where the qualities that bosses want in workers and workers want in leaders: ambition, organization, preparation, confidence, charisma, and high-achievement\u2014often belie what\u2019s happening on the inside: feelings of self-doubt, fear of failure, trouble saying no, feeling overwhelmed, and overthinking. This toxic combination is a potentially deadly paradox. The best result a man can hope for is simple burnout, and at worst suicide. So, no, I\u2019m\u00a0not<\/em>\u00a0OK. Neither are you. What can we do about it?<\/p>\n As we age, one of the many difficult things to swallow is the realization that a lot of our stress, anxiety, and depression could have been avoided, handled differently, or was altogether unnecessary. Some men\u2019s lists are longer than others, but several of the groups I work with have launched a campaign designed to overturn the myth of male stoicism and help men and boys find a pathway forward that addresses anxiety, depression, and addiction. It starts by simply asking the question: \u201cYou OK, Bro?\u201d<\/p>\n That question\u2014and the ability to listen to the answer\u2014is so important that we adopted it as our campaign slogan. And we believe that every conversation it starts has the potential to help men find mental wellness, serve their families and employers better, and even save lives. Sound intriguing? It is.<\/p>\n At\u00a0www.youokbro.org, you\u2019ll find lots of useful resources. We\u2019re also teaming up with several telemedical mental-health treatment providers that offer cognitive behavioral therapy and other services at a discount when you type in the \u201cYou OK Bro?\u201d promo code. But the most important thing you can do is to give a truthful answer (even if it\u2019s only silently to yourself) when someone asks how you\u2019re doing, and to call your buddy, father, or son and ask: \u201cYou OK Bro?\u201d<\/p>\n Image by\u00a0TotumRevolutum\u00a0from\u00a0Pixabay\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n