My kids are all grown up now, but from talking to friends and colleagues with younger kids, it\u2019s become clear that youth sports has become too serious. Kids compete too much and too early. They overspecialize in sports at too young an age, then get burnt out and stop loving the sport altogether. They spend too much time doing the same thing with the same movement patterns. It monopolizes any free time the kids (and rest of family) have. And, perhaps most importantly, parents are too wrapped up in it all.<\/p>\n
But it doesn\u2019t exist in a vacuum. Kids love to play sports and need to move their bodies.<\/p>\n
The foundation of all human movement is play\u2014engaging\u00a0in a broad spectrum of spontaneous moments, reacting to novel situations as they arise, associating movement with intrinsic reward and joy and pleasure. The problem is that\u00a0the classic childhood culture of free play, which is how children have historically (and pre-historically) developed their ability to move through physical space and engage with the physical world, is disappearing from neighborhoods. Oftentimes the only chance a kid gets to move is by joining a competitive youth sports team.<\/p>\n
So how can you make it work without getting out of hand? How can kids engage in youth sports without burning out, getting injured all the time, and hating what used to be enjoyable?<\/p>\n
Keep it fun.<\/h2>\n
They\u2019re \u201cplaying\u201d sports, remember? Playing. Playing is fun. It\u2019s joyful. If you\u2019re enrolling your kid in a legit youth sport recreation league, make sure the emphasis is on fun. That may mean calling the coach and talking about their philosophy and their<\/em> goals for the kids.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t criticize them on the ride home. Don\u2019t badger them about missing a play or shot. If they start dreading going to practice, if they start making up excuses as to why they can\u2019t go today, then listen. Pull back. Take it easy on them. Let them play sports. If you ruin sports, you might just ruin the idea of\u00a0play<\/em> altogether.<\/p>\n A tale as old as time is the kid who starts a sport\u2014maybe it\u2019s wrestling\u2014at age 5, has a knack for it, loves it, and starts competing before long. He wins a few tournaments, does well, wins more than he loses, but then by age 10 or 11, he\u2019s lost interest. The sport he loved to play became a chore, a job, a source of stress and pressure. 10, 11, 12 year olds aren\u2019t meant to deal with that kind of stress associated with a sport they\u2019re supposed to love.<\/p>\n Meanwhile, the kids who get into a specific sport at age 12 after having spent their younger years playing and trying a bunch of new sports all the time excel, go on to compete at a higher level. There are exceptions, of course, but I\u2019ve seen this happen over and over again.<\/p>\n The desire to compete has to emerge from within. The human child is a complex being still in the flower of development. To grab them in the middle of development and throw them into a sport and say \u201cOk, now go compete at a high level\u201d is to interrupt what could be a delicate process of growth.\u00a0Humans are<\/em> naturally competitive, but this competitiveness comes out at different time for different kids. Rushing it along might \u201cspoil the batch,\u201d if that makes sense. Like cooking, you have to honor the recipe.<\/p>\n Now, if they want to compete but balk as the moment arrives, you should push them. Nudge them into it. That\u2019s just the pre-game jitters. As long as they made the initial decision, you can help them stick to it.<\/p>\n Oftentimes a parent will be the coach for the youth sports team. If that\u2019s you, be the coach. Definitely be the coach. It\u2019s your formal role. But don\u2019t be the parent screaming from the sidelines. Don\u2019t be the dad at practice calling out tips and adjustments to your kid, going above and around the coach. Don\u2019t mix the worlds.<\/p>\n When kids are young and looking for a physical activity, consider a non-traditional alternative to classic sports.<\/p>\n This will give them the ability to move well, express their physical potential through time and space, make friends, build their stamina and endurance, and set them up well for any traditional sports they want to try in the future.<\/p>\n Keep a bunch of balls around the house and play with them with your kids.<\/p>\n Playing catch. Start with easy predictable throws and then progress to making them react to unpredictable throws. Dribbling with your feet and hands. Dribbling unconventional things, like tennis balls. The carryover to a basketball or soccer ball is huge and makes it much easier. Playing dodgeball. The classic schoolyard game, now banished or severely neutered in most schools, taught millions to dodge, contort their bodies, catch, and throw with great power and accuracy.<\/p>\n Just carrying a ball around, getting comfortable with it. Tossing it up and catching it while you walk. Tossing it while you watch TV. Idle play, so that it becomes part of you.<\/p>\n Unless you\u2019re dealing with truly young kids who still need their parents from moment to moment, I\u2019d recommend that you drop your kid off at practice and go find something else to do for an hour. If you\u2019re going to watch, do it from afar where they can\u2019t really see you. Don\u2019t be front and center at practice. What you\u2019ll find is that if you\u2019re right there on the sidelines kids will constantly look to you for approval. They\u2019ll scan your face for disappointment, or happiness. You don\u2019t want that. You want your kids fully immersed in the game, doing it for themselves\u2014not for you.<\/p>\n Let the field or wrestling room or track or court be their space that they learn to own. Consider it a little taste of separation.<\/p>\n Variety is the spice of movement. There are hundreds of sports, physical activities, and skills<\/p>\n A sport isn\u2019t even necessary. There\u2019s:<\/p>\n To name just a few.<\/p>\n At least when they are on the younger side, a more casual rec league makes more sense for most kids than a serious year-round travel league. It doesn\u2019t take all your time. It\u2019s not year round, so your kids can try different sports throughout the year. It\u2019s not as expensive\u2014you\u2019re not renting hotels and spending money on planes and gas. It\u2019s not as competitive and serious, which can force your kid into bad patterns\u2014both movement and psychological.<\/p>\n You can always move up to the travel league if your kid expresses interest and has the chops for it. But choose rec leagues whenever possible, because it\u2019s hard, if not impossible, to go back once you commit to travel.<\/p>\n The number one issue with the. I grew up playing every sport outside with my friends, roaming the neighborhood for pickup games, and simply getting into trouble everywhere I went. This made me the man and athlete I am today. I can play any number of sports and can still move well in part because I grew up playing everything. If that idyllic childhood experience is no longer available to your kids, you can at least help them get the same results by letting them play multiple sports, rather than focus on one. This also spreads the \u201cmovement load\u201d to various tissues that might otherwise get overloaded and injured from repetitive motions.<\/p>\n When they get older, they can specialize all they want, but the best foundation for an athlete is playing everything.<\/p>\n They can try anything and they can quit if they don\u2019t like a particular sport or physical activity\u2014but they have to pick another. They must always be trying.<\/p>\n Are you pushing your kid into sports for their benefit, or yours?<\/p>\n Now, there\u2019s an argument that they might not know the benefits of the sport. Sports can have a multitude of long term benefits down the road: the friends you make, the skills and athleticism you develop, the camaraderie, the pressure you have to withstand, how you learn to temper the joy of victory and bitterness of defeat. These are all real considerations that your average 7 year old with an average time horizon isn\u2019t factoring into their decision to play or not.<\/p>\n However, those benefits are more likely to emerge if the kid truly enjoys the sport. Pushing him or her into it against their will makes it less likely they\u2019ll glean those positive lessons down the line and more likely they\u2019ll resist them.<\/p>\n These are the things to keep in mind when making your child\u2019s youth sports league experience optimal, ideal, and most importantly\u00a0fun<\/em>.<\/p>\n Take care, everyone. I\u2019d love to hear your thoughts on youth sports.<\/p>\n <\/p>\nDelay competition as long as you can.<\/h2>\n
Let them<\/em> decide to compete.<\/h2>\n
Don\u2019t be the coach (unless you\u2019re the actual coach).<\/h2>\n
Consider a \u201cmovement\u201d discipline instead of a sport.<\/h2>\n
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Play with balls.<\/h2>\n
Give them their space.<\/h2>\n
Anything works as long as they\u2019re moving.<\/h2>\n
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Choose recreation leagues over travel leagues.<\/h2>\n
Play multiple sports.<\/h2>\n
Always be trying.<\/h2>\n
Ask yourself \u201cWho\u2019s it for?\u201d<\/h2>\n
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