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While unrequited love can hurt quite badly, the experience itself is not inherently unhealthy or bad. After all, people can\u2019t control the way they feel or how much they like someone.<\/p>\n
\u201cUnrequited love isn\u2019t bad,\u201d Mu\u00f1oz says. \u201cMost people experience it at some point or another, especially in their teens and twenties when they\u2019re exploring relationships, eroticism, and romance. But when unrequited love becomes a pattern\u2014or when you remain mired in a state of experiencing unrequited love for someone in a way that affects the quality of your life\u2014then it may be time to look at the function and cost of falling in love with people who don\u2019t love you back.\u201d<\/p>\n
People can sometimes lean on unrequited love as a way of avoiding taking responsibility for ourselves and for our own happiness, Mu\u00f1oz points out. \u201cWe chase the illusion of this elusive idealized other, telling ourselves that if only they loved us, we\u2019d be fulfilled. This can keep us living in a childlike mindset where we avoid\u00a0responsibility by believing we’ll be rescued, magic will happen, and we’ll feel happy, worthy, or whole\u00a0with little effort invested on our part.\u201d<\/p>\n
All that said, there are certainly healthier ways to experience love that isn\u2019t returned. It’s possible to love someone and simply not be concerned with whether they love you back. You can love someone from afar, admiring them, wanting the best for them, and caring for them in the ways you can, without asking anything from them in return. There\u2019s an old quote thought be by the German poet Johann Wolfgang von Goethe that puts this type of selfless love into perspective: If I love you, what business is it of yours?<\/em><\/p>\n The key here, of course, is to make sure that this love doesn\u2019t impede on your<\/em> well-being\u2014and your ability to form mutual loving connections with others.<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n