{"id":6949,"date":"2022-05-20T14:59:14","date_gmt":"2022-05-20T14:59:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/dating-for-single-parents-talking-about-mens-health\/"},"modified":"2022-05-20T14:59:14","modified_gmt":"2022-05-20T14:59:14","slug":"dating-for-single-parents-talking-about-mens-health","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/dating-for-single-parents-talking-about-mens-health\/","title":{"rendered":"Dating For Single Parents \u2013 Talking About Men&#8217;s Health\u2122"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> <br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"text\">\n<p><em>Dear Mr. Dad: I\u2019ve been divorced from my ex-husband for about three years and I\u2019m at the point where I want to start dating again. My kids (7 and 11) and I have a very close relationship and we talk about everything. But whenever I mention dating, instead of being happy for me, they get angry and withdrawn. What can I do to make them a little more supportive?<\/em><\/p>\n<p><strong>A:<\/strong>\u00a0Truly wonderful when parents and their young children have a close relationship. But sometimes, lines can get unintentionally blurred (or crossed), which I think is exactly what you\u2019re describing. There\u2019s no question that your dating life will have an effect on your children\u2014especially when you get into a serious relationship. But it sounds like you\u2019ve given them the impression that their close relationship with you entitles them to an actual vote in the matter. I hate to be too harsh about this, but it\u2019s really none of their business. You\u2019re their parent, not their friend, end of discussion.<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Aside from the boundary issue, your children may simply not want to share you with anyone. It\u2019s been just the three of you for a long time, and they enjoy having you all to themselves. Any time you spend with other people\u2014whether it\u2019s going out for a beer with a work friend or dating a man who\u2019s not their dad\u2014is time you won\u2019t be spending with them. It\u2019s not going to be super easy, but here are few steps you can take to get your kids on board (or at least make them a bit less hostile).<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Tell them you love them. Toys, gifts, and fun activities are great ways to show your kids that you love them\u2014but children also need lots of verbal and physical demonstrations to remind them that they\u2019re always your top priority (but not to the exclusion of everything else).<\/li>\n<li>Let them know you aren\u2019t trying to replace their father. Whether their dad is alive or not, no one can take his place, either in your children\u2019s lives or their memories. They need to know that the reasons you\u2019re going out with other men have to do with you and your needs only.<\/li>\n<li>Date on your own time. If possible, do your dating on nights when the kids aren\u2019t around. Hiring a sitter and going out when you\u2019re with them could make them feel that their fears of losing you are coming true.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t introduce them to your dates too soon. It\u2019s important that you\u2019re sure it\u2019s a serious relationship before you bring the kids in. Before making your introduction, talk about the man you\u2019re seeing, let the kids know how much you and he enjoy being with each other, and let them know you\u2019d like to have everyone meet.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t tell them how to feel. There\u2019s absolutely nothing you can say that\u2019s going to make your kids love (or even like) your boyfriend before they\u2019re ready to. What they need is time. So leave them alone and let them develop their own relationship. And never, never, tell them to call anyone \u201cDad\u201d but their real father.<\/li>\n<li>Listen to them. If they don\u2019t like someone you\u2019re seeing, encourage them to tell you why. You don\u2019t have to agree, but kids are often a lot more perceptive than we are and they sometimes see things we don\u2019t or that love (or lust) has blinded us to. When my kids were little and I was dating, I introduced them to a woman I was pretty serious about. They told me afterwards that she really didn\u2019t like children. At first, I thought they were making that up, but I started paying attention and they were absolutely right. End of relationship.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>This article first appeared on MrDad.com<\/p>\n<\/p><\/div>\n<p><script>\n\t\t\t\/\/facebook JS SDK\n\t\t\t(function(d, s, id) {\n\t\t\t\tvar js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];\n\t\t\t\tif (d.getElementById(id)) return;\n\t\t\t\tjs = d.createElement(s); js.id = id;\n\t\t\t\tjs.src = \"https:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1\";\n\t\t\t\tfjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs);\n\t\t\t}(document, 'script', 'facebook-jssdk'));\n\t\t  \t\/\/Twitter JS SDK\n\t\t  \t!function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=\"https:\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,\"script\",\"twitter-wjs\");\n\t\t  \t\/\/Stumbleupon JS SDK\n\t\t  \t(function() { \n\t\t\t\tvar li = document.createElement('script'); li.type=\"text\/javascript\"; li.async = true; \n\t\t\t\tli.src=\"https:\/\/platform.stumbleupon.com\/1\/widgets.js\"; \n\t\t\t\tvar s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(li, s); \n\t\t\t})();\n\t\t\t\/\/Pintrest JS SDK\n\t\t\t(function() {\n\t\t\t    window.PinIt = window.PinIt || { loaded:false };\n\t\t\t    if (window.PinIt.loaded) return;\n\t\t\t    window.PinIt.loaded = true;\n\t\t\t    function async_load(){\n\t\t\t        var s = document.createElement(\"script\");\n\t\t\t        s.type = \"text\/javascript\";\n\t\t\t        s.async = true;\n\t\t\t        s.src = \"http:\/\/assets.pinterest.com\/js\/pinit.js\";\n\t\t\t        var x = document.getElementsByTagName(\"script\")[0];\n\t\t\t        x.parentNode.insertBefore(s, x);\n\t\t\t    }\n\t\t\t    if (window.attachEvent)\n\t\t\t        window.attachEvent(\"onload\", async_load);\n\t\t\t    else\n\t\t\t        window.addEventListener(\"load\", async_load, false);\n\t\t\t})();\n\t\t<\/script><br \/>\n<br \/><br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/www.talkingaboutmenshealth.com\/dating-for-single-parents\/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=dating-for-single-parents\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Mr. Dad: I\u2019ve been divorced from my ex-husband for about three years and I\u2019m at the point where I want to start dating again. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6950,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6949"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6949"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6949\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6950"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ultimatehealthreport.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}