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When it comes to infertility, everyone\u2019s story is different. As you go through this journey, the people in your life typically want to be there to support you. Still, even the most well-intentioned people, whether they be friends, relatives, or coworkers, can feel like too much when you\u2019re going through the difficult emotions that come with infertility. A seemingly simple question might violate your fragile boundaries and bring you to tears. A casual catch-up over coffee might inevitably lead to chats about your fertility, leaving you feeling overwhelmed or unsure how to talk about what you\u2019re going through. If you\u2019re facing difficulties with fertility, miscarriage, or pregnancy loss \u2013 know that we are so sorry. You deserve all the support you can get during this time, but sometimes the people in your life don\u2019t know how to navigate the conversation. Although the responsibility shouldn\u2019t be on you, you might have to lead the conversation in a way that you\u2019re comfortable with. We\u2019re here to offer some guidance on just how to do that.<\/p>\n
Before you start talking to the people around you about your difficulties with fertility, it\u2019s helpful to check in with yourself to see how much you actually want to share, and who you want to share it with. Even after checking in with yourself, you might find that things change in the moment. You may have thought you were comfortable talking about a certain part of your journey, then when it\u2019s brought up, you realize that you\u2019re not ready. On the other hand, you might have thought you had a certain boundary, but when talking to someone you feel comfortable or even comforted by sharing with them. You\u2019re human, experiencing a very human journey. It\u2019s normal if your needs and comfort levels change from day to day and between different people.<\/p>\n
\u00a0<\/strong>Checking in with yourself is the first step to figuring out your boundaries. It\u2019s ok to not give everyone access to your emotions and your journey. That\u2019s what boundaries are for. Boundaries are the lines you set with different people to preserve your energy. Your boundaries are going to be different for different people and in various settings. Obviously, you\u2019ll be much more willing to open up to close friends than people from work.<\/p>\n You can set boundaries by communicating them clearly by saying things like:<\/p>\n Boundaries aren\u2019t just set through words, but through actions as well. It\u2019s ok to take time for yourself, or just to be with certain people. Being around people can be comforting, but it can also be draining when you\u2019re going through fertility issues. It\u2019s ok to take space to just be with your closest people right now.<\/p>\n Some people might want more information about your health and specifics around infertility. It might be out of curiosity, their own journey, or their way of connecting with you. If you feel open to talking about these questions, then by all means go ahead, if not \u2013 that\u2019s fine. One way you can help field these questions is by having resources to send to them so that you don\u2019t have to answer these questions yourself. A great way to handle more medical questions is \u201cI appreciate your curiosity, but I\u2019m not in a place to talk about these details right now. I\u2019m happy to send some resources your way to help answer your questions.\u201d<\/p>\n Here are some resources you can send them:<\/p>\n Sometimes it\u2019s hard to let ourselves be supported during our most difficult times. It\u2019s ok if you need some personal space, but it\u2019s also important to let yourself be supported by the people that care about you, and that you feel most comfortable. If they are doing things to offer support or help make your life easier while you\u2019re going through this, it\u2019s because they genuinely want to help. It\u2019s ok to let that help in. Community is one of the most important tools humans have to get through hard times. Remember who your community is, and allow yourself to be supported by them.<\/p>\n On the other hand, you might have a loved one who needs support during their fertility journey and are wondering how to talk about it with them. Here are some tips on talking with a loved one who is dealing with infertility.<\/p>\n Infertility is a heartbreaking journey and can be difficult to talk about whether it\u2019s you or a loved one who\u2019s experiencing it. Be gentle with yourself and don\u2019t be afraid to ask for support, or reach out to a friend who needs yours. For more information on infertility, you can read about reproductive loss for LGBTQ+ people, ectopic pregnancy, and grief after an abortion.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n
\u00a0<\/strong>Offer Other Resources<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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Let Yourself Be Supported<\/strong><\/h2>\n
\u00a0<\/strong>Talking With a Loved One Who is Experiencing Infertility<\/strong><\/h2>\n
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