Some people do prefer relationships without labels, but importantly, a relationship without labels is still a relationship and still requires clarity around expectations.
“Some people may choose not to label their relationship because they’re afraid of being tied down too quickly or in a place where they feel trapped,” relationship therapist Shena Tubbs, MMFT, LPC, CSAT-C, once told mbg. “However, one should understand that you maintain full autonomy of yourself in every relationship you’re in, and you are the one who is responsible for communicating what you need, what you want, and what you don’t want. So if you feel you’re at a place where you cannot (or don’t want) to date one person exclusively, that should be communicated to your partner so that [they] can make a decision about whether that works for them.”
In other words, saying you “don’t do labels” cannot be a stand-in for having a conversation about what you both expect from each other. You two should still be able to get on the same page about whether you’re romantically and sexually exclusive, what the expectations you both have for each other are, whether you want your current relationship to be long term, and whether you’re interested in eventually living together, getting married, and those sorts of things. It’s OK to not want these things, but if he’s avoiding telling you how he feels about all this and keeping you in the dark, take that as a red flag.